Who knew death had so many reasons!
by dk2022
Summary: This is an insight to why dear old Voldie wanted to get rid of Harry. A bit of swearing in here so be warned!
1. Main overview

Reasons why Voldermort wants Harry dead  
  
1. James went to a Halloween party dressed up as Voldermort, but wore blond pigtails with red ribbons and ran around the room saying, 'Hi, I'm not really Tom Riddle. My name is Tomasina Riddle, and I'm not Lord Voldermort, I'm Lordette Voldermort and I want to unite the muggles with the magical people!' in a high falsetto voice!  
  
2. Harry was a cute baby!  
  
3. Voldermort wanted to steal candy from a baby, and the easiest way to do that was to kill the baby!  
  
4. Tom Riddle Senior slept with Lily's mum, which made Lily Tom Riddle Junior's half-sister, which made Voldermort Harry's half-uncle, and Voldermort was jealous the HE didn't get the green eyes!!! (I mean, red slits aren't that fashionable any more!!)  
  
5. He was jealous that he didn't get that happy upbringing that Harry got.  
  
6. He couldn't stand the idea of having another Griffindor in the world!  
  
7. While working with Trelawney, she said that Harry would get more girls than He did.  
  
8. He saw JK Rowling writing the books about Harry, he wanted the fame and fortune!  
  
9. He loved James.  
  
10. He lost in a round of Trivial Pursuit to the Order of the Phoenix.  
  
Each chapter is going to be in an alternate reality (so then none of the reasons collide with each other) 


	2. The Halloween Party

Reason 1. James hosted a Halloween party dressed up as Voldermort, but wore blond pigtails with red ribbons and ran around the room saying, 'Hi, I'm not really Tom Riddle. My name is Tomasina Riddle, and I'm not Lord Voldermort, I'm Lordette Voldermort and I want to unite the muggles with the magical people!' in a high falsetto voice!  
  
Chapter 1 - The Halloween Party  
  
Picture the scene. A huge hall in Godric's Hollow decorated with pumpkins, black and orange streamers and bats. All was calm, like the sea before a storm. Tables lined one of the walls, as if awaiting to be filled with food. At the doorway stood two lone figures, dressed as a cat and... a blonde bimbo.  
  
"Ready Lily?" asked the blonde.  
  
"Of course I am James. You?"  
  
"As ready as I'll ever be... I think." James opened the doors and in streamed Sirius, Remus and Peter (and of course lots of other different people that I won't name for the sake of space.).  
  
"Well, well, who's this lovely, dashing blonde you've been hiding Lil?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Gerroff me!"  
  
"Bloody hell! It's James!"  
  
"Who did you think it was? Lucius Malfoy after a sex change?" James asked, smiling. He had cleaned up pretty well, a blood red spaghetti straps dress, that went down to the ankles, with a slit up to his thigh. His legs were bare (and waxed) and he was tottering around on 4 inch red stilettos. But his hair was the best thing. It was charmed to look long and blonde (OK, it was a wig!). Then, Lily plaited it into two big side plaits with red ribbons inserted here and there.  
  
"Well, I did think for a second that it was him... her... Luscious Lucius!" Sirius bent double with laughter.  
  
"So what are you three supposed to be?" Lily asked warmly as she looked the three over.  
  
"The three Musketeers. One from each house! See, I am wearing yellow for Hufflepuff, Remus is wearing blue for Ravenclaw and Sirius is..."  
  
"As red as the day the Sorting Hat placed me in Griffindor!" Sirius interrupted, with Peter looking as if he could make him walk around with Jelly-Legs for the next half an hour.  
  
"Well I have to go and greet people. See you all later." James walked gracefully away (well as gracefully as he could wearing 4 inch heels).  
  
"Lil, who, or what, is James trying to be?" Remus asked quietly.  
  
"Wait and see!" Lily replied gleefully.  
  
James went up to his first victim... I mean guest. "Hi, I'm not really Tom Riddle. My name is Tomasina Riddle, and I'm not Lord Voldermort, I'm Lordette Voldermort and I want to unite the muggles with the magical people!" James greeted his first guest, in his high, falsetto voice. Guest number one started laughing her heart out. Guest number one happened to be Minerva McGonagall, and that was the last time ever James would get her to laugh.  
  
"Well Mr. Potter, that was definitely one of the better outfits I have seen in a long time!" McGonagall informed him, her voice laced with a Scottish accent, and a bit a alcohol.  
  
"Well thank you, and please, for the last time, call me James, not Mr. Potter. It gives me flashbacks of school. Now, excuse me, there are some more people I need to surprise!" And with that, James, or should I say Tomasina, bounded off to the next group of friends.  
  
From the buffet table, Sirius was laughing (yet again!) at James' actions. "Remus, look at him! He's making a fool out of Voldermort, and he's doing it with bloody style!"  
  
"He better be careful. Who knows who half these people work for!" Remus warned carefully. "Who knows, maybe one of his spies is already in here!" A scream sounded from across the room. "He got Arabella Figg! That was so funny!" Sirius gleefully shouted. There sat Arabella, with pink bananas in her hair and yellow spots on her cape. She had come as the then potions master, Pongo Humpernickle (who looked suspiciously like Snape does now!) who always wore a green cloak with a picture of a tree on it. No-one knew why he wore a picture of a tree, but he did, as he was one of those eccentric people, who believed in trees.  
  
The party went on for hours, with many a repetition of, "Hi, I'm not really Tom Riddle. My name is Tomasina Riddle, and I'm not Lord Voldermort, I'm Lordette Voldermort and I want to unite the muggles with the magical people!" in James' high, falsetto voice.  
  
The Next Evening  
  
"What news do you bring Pettigrew?" Voldermort asked, spitting out Pettigrew as if it was a curse.  
  
"The Potters have become much more powerful, and James is now a bit more show-offy than he usually was. I take it you heard about their party last night in the Hollow, your Lordship?"  
  
Voldermort sat there quietly for a moment, quietly thinking to himself. Then, "No, I did not hear of their party. What did the obnoxious boy do now?"  
  
Peter took in a deep breath, as if to calm himself. "James dressed up as a girl, with a wig of long blonde hair, plaited into two big side plaits, with red ribbons, and wore a red dinner party dress that had a huge slit in it to his thigh and big, four inch red heels..."  
  
"So? Come now Rat, what does this have to do with me?" Voldermort asked angrily.  
  
"Yes of course your Greatness. Anyway, he went around the room, full of people, saying, "Hi, I'm not really Tom Riddle. My name is Tomasina Riddle, and I'm not Lord Voldermort, I'm Lordette Voldermort and I want to unite the muggles with the magical people!" and making people laugh at your expense, your Lordship."  
  
"He did WHAT?!" At the thought of this scene, two Death Eaters started to laugh silently. "What are you two laughing about?" Voldermort ask whilst turning to face them.  
  
"We're sorry your Eminence, but the thought of James Potter making a fool of himself is quite humerous!" the Death Eater replied, his dark, obsidian eyes sparkling with unshed tears of laughter.  
  
"We are truly sorry, your Lordship. I shall take Severus and myself out of your way," the other Death Eater replied.  
  
"Very well Lucius." With that Lucius and Severus took their leave of the room.  
  
Voldermort turned back to Peter. "Any news on their son?"  
  
"He was being babysat by some wizards, not extreamly storng ones, but wizards none the less. And I could not get away from the party, so I could not fetch the baby, your Lordship." Voldermort mulled this information over in his head. Well, it was more of, 'Kill Pettigrew. Don't kill Pettigrew. Kill the Rat. Don't kill the Rat,' in a Homer Simpson kind of way. "We need to get rid of their son. Let's kill him!" Voldermort said, as if he was ordering dinner. Very, very scary.  
  
End of Chapter 1. 


End file.
